“IF YOU FIND ME,” by Emily Murdoch, St. Martin’s Griffin, March 26, 2013, Hardcover, $17.99 (young adult)
Some books just stay with you. They move you. They make you think. They make you want to reread them as soon as you finish. I read Emily Murdoch’s “If You Find Me” a few weeks ago — in one sitting — and I still find myself thinking about it.
“If You Find Me” is the story of 14-year-old Carey and her 6-year-old sister, Jenessa. Carey moved to the woods with her mother when Carey was very young. The woods and the broken-down camper in which they live, are all Jenessa has ever known.
The girls don’t know much about their mother’s past, only that she moved to the woods for safety. She disappears from time to time to get supplies for the girls and drugs for herself. But Carey and Jenessa know how to fend for themselves, living off the land as much as possible and stretching supplies longer than planned.
But this time is different. Carey’s mom has been gone longer than normal. Supplies are running low. And then a man and woman appear with the unthinkable news that the girls’ mother has abandoned them.
What the visitors tell Carey rocks her foundation. Carey’s mom didn’t spirit her off to the woods to keep her safe, she kidnapped her while in a mentally altered state. Carey’s father never stopped looking for his daughter. For 10 long years, he’s never given up hope. And now he wants Carey and Jenessa to live with him, to be part of his family.
Soon, Carey and Jenessa find themselves in a world of enticing food, running water, new clothes and electrical wonders. Jenessa immediately takes to her new home, though she still remains mute around everyone but her sister. Carey, on the other hand, finds it difficult to adjust. Her past, and the secrets buried deep within her, are coming near to the surface, and with one slip, everything could come tumbling down.
“If You Find Me” is achingly sad and beautiful at the same time. Author Emily Murdoch immediately puts you inside Carey’s head, and because of that, you know her motivation, even though you are discovering her story as the plot unfolds. Emily’s prose is mature and smooth, evoking emotion with the simplest of phrases.
At times, “If You Find Me” is hard to read. It deals with abandonment, self-doubt and drug and physical abuse. However, Emily delicately and tastefully handles those moments, which are key to Carey and Jenessa’s story.
Prior to starting “If You Find Me,” I wasn’t sure if I would enjoy the book. Truthfully, I don’t think enjoy is the right word to explain reading this book. Instead, I found myself thoroughly moved by the overall experience.
